From the outside, EMDR may look deceptively simple. Before the process begins, your EMDR therapist will help you choose a scene from your life that represents a distressing or painful memory you have been struggling with. Perhaps it is the scene of the moment you received news that changed 'everything', or of a confrontation that feels unresolved, or of a childhood memory that still carries weight for you. The image is chosen carefully because it is linked to a deeper, often

"From a psychologist’s perspective, finding yourself in the same pattern across relationships is not a sign that you are somehow drawing this to yourself. It is more likely a repeated return to the template for love that you absorbed long before you were old enough to question it."

We've all had a gut feeling that turned out to be right. And we've all had a sense of dread that amounted to nothing at all. Clients sit across from me genuinely unable to distinguish between the two, and I experience it too. Because in the moment, the two can feel the same in the body: the chest tightens, something feels like it doesn't "add up", and the urge to decide becomes important. So how do you actually tell them apart?​